Developmental Cycles / Stages
Birth - One Year Bonging Stage (The Power of Being)
Developmental Tasks:
*To form a strong bond with another human being.
*To be taken care of.
*To build the foundations of a self, an identity.
*To accept touch.
*To accept nurture.
*To be sensual.
The self is formed by reflection off another human being. One can't develop self alone. The baby can establish a basic sense of trust in self and others, a sense that the world is a safe place. From the bonded position the infant can proceed with the task of separating, individuating and becoming an independent and autonomous person.
Core Questions:
Can I be safe? This is a trust issue.
Can I be me ? This is an identity issue.
Can I be accepted? This is an attachment issue.
Needs:
1) to be provided with a calm, predictable, consistent and loving environment.
2) eye contact
3) meaningful, loving touch
4) verbal communication with loving intonation and playful intonation
Affirmations for being:
*I'm glad you're here.
*Your needs are OK with me.
*I'm glad you're a boy or a girl.
*You don't have to hurry.
*I like to hold you.
* You can have all your feelings.
*I love you and care for you willingly.
IMPACT OF ADDICTION or being reared in a dysfunctional family
*Alcoholism causes personality changes which result in parents not being predictable.
*Infants have difficulty being calm and anticipating their needs will be met.
*Unpredictable responses to needs: a loving response / no response / an angry, rejecting response, or worse.
*Infant has a defense against pain if negative responses, may learn to split off awareness of needs and feelings, stop taking initiative to meet his needs, wait passively for any caretaking . Later on this becomes "Don't feel" "Don't be selfish"
*Difficulty trusting
*May later not believe the world is a safe place or that relationships can be reliable. Predictability is not rigidity.
Predictability for infants means that when they cry, they will be comforted.
Consistency is also not rigidity. Consistency means that there are limits that nurturing falls within and that it always falls within these limits.
Calm is not the absence of stimulation. Calm is stimulation which the child can absorb, stimulation that does not overpower the child and frighten him or her.
*Conrad Lorenz - Nobel prize for research on bonding - with geese
*Tom Brewster - Bonding and the Missionary Task
Nine To 18 Months The Power Of Doing
Developmental Tasks:
*To explore the environment without having to think about it.
*Develop sensory awareness by doing.
*Continues forming secure attachments with parents.
*Gets help in times of stress.
*Develops initiative.
Source: http://www.darvsmith.com/dox/developmentalissues.html
